Oh boy here we go…Eating lunch with my 3year old and her cousin we usually talk about what we did and learned in school etc…

Well my 3yr old tells me that she held hands with a boy in her class today. No biggie. Her cousin, who is also in the class chimes in and says “she kissed him”
WHAT?!
Leah quickly denies it and then they both in their tiny helium sounding voices go back and forth on whether she actually did kiss him or not.  Ok…my daughter is 3, I shouldn’t be dealing with this already.  I’m not prepared yet, I thought I had a few more years, like about 20 more years.  This is the same boy she said she “loved” a few months ago….Danger’s reaction was priceless.

She hasn’t talked about him much until today.  Oh I don’t know what to do?  Laugh it off, teach her that boys are yucky, tell her she won’t make it to the age of 4 if I hear about it again…

I do remember the cute boy who lived next door to me when I was real little. We would always play “cops and robbers” and try to sneak a kiss behind the sheets hanging on the clothesline.

Do you remember your very first kiss?

I have a good friend that’s convinced that a “handy guy”, a guy who can pretty much build and fix anything is far from the romantic guy.
She truly believes it’s black and white:  Handy guys are good with their hands but NOT good when it comes to the emotional, romantic side of the relationship.  Is that true? I can’t say for myself b/c I’ve never been with a “handy guy”
I’m putting it out there…

I’m curious to know who started to spread them, but the rumors are true…

So ok this may be a little TMI but…oh well it’s life.
As you may or may not know Danger and I are trying for a second kid.  Leah, our 3yr old loves babies she always talks about having a little brother or sister “of her own”.  So in April we found out that we were expecting.  Words can’t even describe how excited we were after being off the pill for a year, it finally happened.  I never in a million years thought that it would take a year to get pregnant nor did I ever think that I would have to deal with the intense emotional pain of a miscarriage. Which is what happened shortly after we found out we were pregnant.  Man it was awful. Especially b/c I did the #1 no no and told Leah that we were expecting.  
Well, I was all about “getting back on the horse” and trying again, they say you’re most fertile after a miscarriage.  Leah doesn’t have any concept of time, a month or two off she won’t know the difference. 
Without going into detail…I did everything the Fertility Drs say to do.  If you’ve been through it, you know what I’m talking about. It’s fun and exhausting and work all at the same time.
I was so sure it was going to work, only good news ahead.  Until this past Friday :(  For some reason whatever it is, I guess it’s just not meant to be right now.  Somebody is telling us “Don’t do it”
Now I have to tell Leah about losing the baby, since she talks about ”her brother or sister” everyday.  I’m not really sure how I’m going to break the news to her.  I’m emotionally scaring my poor little girl.  What a terrible mother I am.  I’ve searched through website after website looking for the best advice on how to talk to her about it.  Keep it simple is the common theme I’ve found so far.  I dread it so much. 

I just woke up from a nap, brushed my teeth washed my face and then the doorbell rang.  Did I answer it?….No.  Why?  I’m not really sure?
At first, I just froze, like a deer in the headlights, debating who it could be. Thinking, if it’s someone I know I don’t want them to see me with my “I just woke up” hair and pillow lines on my face. Like it really matters, like they care what I look like. I seriously sat there trying to peak out the blinds to see who it was.  Pathetic I know.  I find myself doing this all the time.  I’ve ran after the mail guy before after realizing he was just trying to have me sign for a package.  Today though, I never did see who it was. But now I feel bad, so much guilt I have to blog about it. So if you came to my house today and are reading this blog…I’m sorry I didn’t answer the door.  I hope it wasn’t that important.